It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
