Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The beer is more important than you right now.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Randomize
