is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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