no, he came in my armpit
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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