No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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