just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
