Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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