i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
