During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
There r osticjed everywhere
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
