Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
