why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
