my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
