proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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