I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
