We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
