when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize