Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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