Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
