the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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