My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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