I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
