After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
