what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
