I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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