farters have to be the big spoon...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
