it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I could fuck to npr.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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