when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
