Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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