i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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