fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
