you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
you never un-have a 4some
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
