I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
