Where is the hickey?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
