he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
