she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
