The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
