i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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