On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
