it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
