1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
