i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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