i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
