Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
it glows. i had to have it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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