ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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