she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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