The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize