Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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