the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
