is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
