Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
