Dual....:-)
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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