I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
