Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
