swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
