Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
