my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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