My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize