My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He did a backflip because drugs
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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