She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
